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C – Confidence

Confidence building is crucial Encouraging self- confidence and self -belief will help them achieve what they want to. Not an arrogance or big headed attitude at all, just a way of letting them know you believe in them and that they have all the resources inside that will help them do what they want to. I believe there is infinite potential inside everyone and it just needs releasing and realizing. As parents or teachers it is sometimes quicker and easier to do things for children when they are actually perfectly capable themselves. The sooner we let them have a go at something the sooner they will be able to accomplish and achieve it. When someone has a ‘confidant’ that’s someone they entrust with secrets, share things with, someone they trust and self- confidence is trusting oneself. We need to encourage our children to have self- trust and grow in confidence. When they get something wrong that they’re having a go at, find something they did well first and praise that. Then add the’ what could be done better’ bit! For e.g. the first time one of the teenagers I had living with me attempted making a smoothie it was messy!!! Too much fruit, hard fruit that wouldn’t blend and no liquid! I wasn’t present at the time, I came into the kitchen to find what she’d done. I had a choice in how I dealt with it. React, criticize and complain or respond (responding is being far more considered and not flying off the handle and reacting!) and find what was good about it! I used the ‘feedback sandwich’ that’s when you say something positive first (your first slice of bread) put in the filling, the how to improve it, make it better next time bit and then put the last slice on, finishing with an overall positive or compliment. So my saying “Oh good, glad to see you’re having a go at making your own smoothie, that’s a good choice for breakfast …. It works much better with soft fruit and when you put some fruit juice or milk in too, so you can do that next time. Still tastes nice (it did) well done for having a go” (I also added the reminder about tidying up the kitchen!) is going to fill her with confidence and encourage her to try new things. If I’d gone mad at the mess, said she’d used the wrong fruits used too much, not added liquid, got it wrong, that wouldn’t have helped. Hearing this kind of thing often enough from the adults in their lives has an adverse effect on children, young people, anybody actually and eats away at confidence and leads to low self- esteem and confidence.

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